I AM what I AM

Smile,u'll know the magnificience in life...
Laugh,u'll know the wonders in urself...
Observe,u'll know the beauty in ur inner heart...

Sunday, September 4, 2011

Too anxious~ I cry~

saw a 19yrs old fren who brought his galfren to his family today...they r so natural,so brave...my heart started to squeeze into jealousy n sorrow...y cant v jux like them? mum started to tel me bout them when they went shopping in KL,blablabla~~i had no mood2listen..wat in my mind was me n him..how good ll it b if v go KL together o whereva..as long as v r together,no matter jux in my hse o urs...haiz~~mayb this hope ll bcome true when i reach 19,perhaps,hopefully...too eager to b known,erm another way--too disappointed or bored to hide from family...even v go jusco,i jux cant hold ur hand as long as i wish..sometimes u ll jux leave my hand hanging there,when u c friends,seniors or neighbours..haiz..i m tired of these,man~ who cares?! jux tel the world tat i m urs! is it so difficult or embarrassing?
haiya..ok la..i know v r stil SMALL..(YOUNG) but everytime i c those couples,i cant stop myself from hoping us2b like tat too..i m jux too stupid,too eager,too anxious!! i gotta control~~ yup,self-esteem perhaps...haiyo~~when i saw my fren's photos wif his galfren,those memories they had no matter in redang island,his hse or her hse r so sweet =) then i started2sob...mayb nex yr u can tel d world~or mayb when i m 19?
i did self reflection after crying...my concious tore my wish in pieces..education is always d first..wat should i do nw is SPM,wat a boring task! build up my independence n courage in my 3months secondary life 4preparing me2study away from home..these make me alert,alarmed4 wat is important..
i know,u r important to me too =) howeva,i believe tat day when v r ready,stable,natural,being true2ourselves ll come when it is time =)
al d best4 our life! 2al my frens,gdluck in ur exam! =D

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