Too anxious~ I cry~

saw a 19yrs old fren who brought his galfren to his family today...they r so natural,so brave...my heart started to squeeze into jealousy n sorrow...y cant v jux like them? mum started to tel me bout them when they went shopping in KL,blablabla~~i had no mood2listen..wat in my mind was me n him..how good ll it b if v go KL together o whereva..as long as v r together,no matter jux in my hse o urs...haiz~~mayb this hope ll bcome true when i reach 19,perhaps,hopefully...too eager to b known,erm another way--too disappointed or bored to hide from family...even v go jusco,i jux cant hold ur hand as long as i wish..sometimes u ll jux leave my hand hanging there,when u c friends,seniors or neighbours..haiz..i m tired of these,man~ who cares?! jux tel the world tat i m urs! is it so difficult or embarrassing?
haiya..ok la..i know v r stil SMALL..(YOUNG) but everytime i c those couples,i cant stop myself from hoping us2b like tat too..i m jux too stupid,too eager,too anxious!! i gotta control~~ yup,self-esteem perhaps...haiyo~~when i saw my fren's photos wif his galfren,those memories they had no matter in redang island,his hse or her hse r so sweet =) then i started2sob...mayb nex yr u can tel d world~or mayb when i m 19?
i did self reflection after crying...my concious tore my wish in pieces..education is always d first..wat should i do nw is SPM,wat a boring task! build up my independence n courage in my 3months secondary life 4preparing me2study away from home..these make me alert,alarmed4 wat is important..
i know,u r important to me too =) howeva,i believe tat day when v r ready,stable,natural,being true2ourselves ll come when it is time =)
al d best4 our life! 2al my frens,gdluck in ur exam! =D

a special day,an odd day~

i feel today is very different from other days...perhaps it's my thinking changes from days to days..huh~
lalala~~~gotta study sej again~~sad! haiz..but nvm,i feel tat i m nt so stressed compared wif las2 exams..
mayb i feel the warmth of friendship this time~ lalala~ happy-ing~~~ so i hav eaten an icecream after my lunch~ lalala =) it embraces me wif comfort and freshness of my mind~ lalala~ happy birthday sueann~ smile ya =)

today i feel happy~ lalala~~ =) i like this feeling,comfortable n fresh~~ lalala~

A Diamond or A Kiss

lalala~ v al celebrated sue ann's birthday in lobak steamboat juxnow~ an enjoyable gathering too =)
the way v laughed,smiled,took photos wif many different emotions,poses,i knew these are my good friends who would always be wif me when i m in need. =)
friendship~ i m the speaker of this title of the june youth study-meet...it is so unbelievable and wonderful that after the campfire,when my friends n i hav gone through so many different problems,difficulties,my friendship bonds are tightened and enhanced...a good news anyway =) lalala~~it seemed tat the gap doesnt exist anymore..wheneva v talk,laugh or wateva,v r ourselves...no matter how ugly when i laugh bcz of the braces,but my mind tels me,nvm this is me,they know me,not my beauty...yeah,this is y i feel so comfortable n natural when i m wif them...no worries,jux smile =)
couple and friends,these are 2 different things in life...v cant mix it up,right?so for my ahem*,dun be worried or uncomfortable when i am too closed to some frens,k? they r my friends,n u r my ahem*...so these are 2different things..i m sure u hav friends too..everyone has friends who make their life more colourful and magnificient..=) trust me,i know how 2differentiate a friend and a ahem*...dun worry,smile =)
money is important in this era of globalization,but money doent not make our life 100% happy. trust me,although u r nt wealthy,i ll stil choose u =) if i am givien a choice between a diamond from a guy and a kiss from u,dun worry,i ll kiss u =)
sueann,happy birthday to u!!!
hav a happy life,no worries,smile as much as possible =) al the best ya!

let the bright side shines*

folio settled. emo...nt sure~~

cry~ =( 

wats so difficult to dsitinguish huh? jux a fren,tats it...but another self tel me,"r u sure tats it?"

lalala~ y should i get things so complicated...i think it for the whole day today...even nt paying attention in class...

lalala~ alright,calm down n think!

everything is so great n sweet b4 i start trembling down...it was so great...

then y should i allow it to b destroyed in a few days??

no,i shouldnt..it ll hurt me n another one..

no!

alright,then keep on going,live a life tat i once enjoyed so muchhhh~~ then everything got settled!!

oyea..so easy~

ok,then i ll stay to live my normal life,but jux a new fren is added in,tats al~

ok =)

focus in studies b4 i regret then~

jiayou,al my frens =)

v ll be together til the very end~ 

SMILE =)

once again,no!

it's fun today when frens r embraced wif laughters n enjoyment. feel lucky n appreciative for having such good frens like them...thanks! everyone is wif their true heart,no masking,no acting..even cracking crazy jokes or a small fight,v laugh...few more months to graduate,i m sure i ll miss them...really~ they r sincere n helpful,they r my true frens~ i m like their sister or their brother..ha! they affect me,when they laugh,i laugh,when they sob,i sob...humans~life~ al these r made up of different types of bonds...whether v feel joyous,it al depends on how strong the bondings r..there is no one man in an island~no!he ll nt alive then..
however,it is important to distinguish the bonding so tat it doesnt burden our life~ humans tend to make mistakes..mistakes r the usual bridge between inexperience n wisdom..so,once u learn from it,u actually doesn make a mistake..so m i~ haiz...i made ocne b4,this time i ll nvr eva repeat it once again,no!!!! i m nt going2 hurt anyone including myself!! no,it really feels bad...
pls b fresh,dear vivian!! dun eva repeat it once again!v r good for now n eva..y should i b the one who change everything? nonono~~ no! settle down n studies,relax n enjoy what i m now~